You can almost hear him saying it, in his mind that is, "no!" But the truth of the matter is that Brennan can and DOES say that very special word now. He doesn't quite do it like you or I might do it though. He purses his lips to get that "n" sound just right and shakes his head from one side to the other as far as it reaches and says "Neuoooooo!" Now, he usually only does it in response to eating, when he's no longer interested, or in response to asking him to say no, which we do quite frequently 'cause it's so darn cute.
I bring this up simply to say that today, I said a very important "no." I did not WANT to say no. I really wanted to say yes. But between good counsel from friends & family and this aching in my gut, I realized that the opportunity presenting itself was not one that would benefit all of us in the long run. Yeah, maybe it would be good in the short term. It might be fun. But at the end of it, it would not be the best.
Now, before anyone jumps to any conclusions: 1) I was not offered & turned down a call. 2) I was not propositioned or anything crazy like that. 3) There's a time to share & a time not to share all the details. Now is that rare time not to share all the details.
But, I will share this. I recognized this morning that I needed to say no. I prayed about it and was a little concerned about how I should broach the topic carefully because I was pretty sure that it needed to happen, but that I was the only one aware of it. And low and behold, I got a phone call. Within 10 minutes I was able to say no, or at least to get the conversation going in that direction. I prayed silently during it "give me an out" 'cause I REALLY wanted to say yes, but I knew I had to say no. Now, there was no miraculous moment in the conversation where everything turned. There was no hinge. But I can say by the end, that we were both able to leave the conversation mutually encouraged. It was pretty amazing. Even though I said no, I believe I had said an even bigger YES. I believe I was able to affirm, build up, dare I say "bless"? And I left encouraged, validated and feeling truly that this was a thing from God. Each of us were sent on our own path. We converged at a cross-roads where my "no" sent us our separate ways, but we did not leave alone.
I won't pretend to claim that my little "no" was somehow determinative for anyone other than me. I won't compare it to God's NO to our sin, God's NO do our lostness, God's NO to our separation. I will simply say that No is often the toughest word to say, but it is often the right word, and just as often, it is the best word. I'm so thankful that God said NO, 'cause it opened the door for God's great YES. I'm now waiting for a little yes of my own...