Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Can I borrow some Pink?

Finally, the long awaited day arrived. It was last Wednesday, exactly a week ago today (as I write this). Ever since we’d discovered we were expecting our third, and final child back in March, nearly everyone we’ve shared the news with has asked us, “So, do you know what you’re having?” The answer, until Wednesday, was always – “not yet.” We had to await the results of that 20 week ultrasound. The ultrasound that would determine, as I kept saying, whether we’d simply toss another boy down the chute, or would have our world blown up by a baby girl. A healthy baby is always the goal. And with each healthy birth I’ve witnessed, and every tragic story I’ve observed, I’m reminded of how miraculous a healthy baby truly is. So, above all, as we awaited that 20 week ultrasound, we hoped and prayed for a healthy baby. And yet, secretly (for Bridgette) and not-so-secretly (for me), we hoped that we could add a baby girl to round out our family. Well, on Wednesday, both our prayers for a healthy baby, and our hopes for a girl were answered. Little “baby Bria” as her big brothers are learning to call her, looks healthy and whole, and plans to crash our world in the Fall.

As I share this exciting news, I also feel a pang of guilt. Some people try for years for that “elusive” child of the opposite gender (whether boy or girl) and their hopes are never fulfilled. (I have a good friend with 4 girls, who desperately wanted a little boy to play catch with, but 4 girls is what he got). Others try for years just to conceive a child of any gender, but for one reason or another, it never happens. And yet others conceive, yet before or after their child is born, tragedy strikes, and their hearts are broken. Our joy and blessings in the face of real disappointments and tragedies for others cause me to wonder “Why me?”

To that question, I have no answer. I know it is not by anything that I have done. I know, I’m no more pious or righteous or faithful than many others, following Christ in this world. If anything, I’m sure there are many more qualified for God’s blessings than me. Yet, that’s not how God works. God’s economy is built, not on good deeds, but on God’s gracious gift of mercy. How that is dispensed, on whom, and at what time, is not possible for us to understand, on this side of eternity. And so, my response to God’s gracious blessings, particularly the news of a healthy baby girl, due this November, can be nothing more than thankfulness. Just as, my response to any tragedy in my life, in addition to feeling sorrow and grief, can ultimately be nothing more than thankfulness – not for the tragedy itself, but for the fact that in everything, whether blessings or tragedies, God is present. And if I trust God, I can discover in every event, the gracious gift of God’s mercy.

I pray that you too, wherever you may be during this very hot Summer season, can experience God’s mercy and grace in your life – as we are in ours!


The Rice's said...

A beautiful way to express what you feel, Don. I often think how blessed I feel to have one of each gender and how blessed to have two healthy children after losing one so late in the pregnancy. I too believe that God was there in that tragedy and healed our hearts. I am thankful for all the grace and mercy that he has given our family.

jennifer said...

So I'm waaaay behind and had no idea you guys were even expecting another little Coleman!!!! Congrats on the Bria...can't wait to "meet" her!