Why?

Over the last 24 hours I've been through a lot of emotions, and have centered on one: brokeness.

No, I'm ok. My marriage is great. Our expectant child, by all our knowledge, is safe in Bridgette's belly. But it seems to me that in many ways, the state of our faith, the state of Christianity... well it's hurting me.

Now, I'm not a pessimistic type, and in general, I'm not scared about the future. I believe God is Lord of the future, it'll be ok. But I've been perusing through blogland, reading a number of Christian blogs and posts which seem to me to be so hurtful and devisive, that I cannot stomach them. A couple of times, I have replied or e-mailed the persons, hoping to open their eyes to what they are denying. In some cases, they are denying elements of historical Christianity without even realizing it. Some people claim certain things "pagan" or "new age" but are ignorant that these same things were practiced for hundreds of years by many faithful Christians.

Some people seem to forget that Jesus came 2000 years ago, that there is 2000 years of God working through the Church, before we ever got to today. Faithful Christians throughout those ages sought to know God and Jesus, often witout the aid of the Bible in their native tongue, and yet today so many of us protestants claim that the Bible is our very own personal answer key, easy to understand, simple enough that a child could come to the right truth simply by reading it, like a cookbook. We almost worship the Bible and forget about the Holy Spirit!

But that's not exactly what I'm broken about. I'm frustrated by the fact that we are known more for our exclusion, our backbiting, fingerpointing, hurtful and devisiveness than for our love and our unity. Is that what we were called to? Is that what Jesus died for? I think not! I think we sell ourselves short everytime we try and paint other Christians as evil.

I wrote in an e-mail recently, reminding someone of Jesus words to His disciples concerning stuff like this. They asked him, essentially if they should weed out the false prophets who were preaching in His name. Jesus said no, if they are not preaching AGAINST me, then they're FOR me. Even more, he claimed that by uprooting these weeds, you would end up hurting the wheat that God would eventually harvest. Instead, they were told to wait for the day of judgment, where God (who alone can judge rightly) would discern the true from the false.

See, it's not up to us. We are not called to judge our fellow fallen friends. We are called to live in love and community, seeking God as best we can. But so often, we instead try to point out everyone else's sin, explaining why they're so wrong, and therefore, why we're so right. But that's not our job!!!

Also as an aside, I NEVER want this blog or any other I ever write to be a hotbed of angry dissenting and complaining about people or whatever. It's so easy to do that on the internet. Those blogs are EVERYWHERE. And Christian blogs like that are EXTREMELY prevalent. But we can do better than that.

I am broken, I want us to love one another, I want us to leave the judging up to God. Please, help me to walk humbly before my God, to do justice and love mercy... and above all else, to love... because love covers a multitude of sins, and without love, I am nothing but a crashing cymbal...